5 Environmental Decisions Trump Should “Pizza” On

It seems that every day Trump has been in office, the United States has had a generally, “Bad Time”. Congress, and the President, have been french frying their way through some pretty intense political decisions. Since we spend most of our time outside to avoid dealing with these issues, here are the 5 environmental times that Trump needs to throw in some pizzas, and pump the breaks on his wild decision making for the environment.

  1. Turning clean water, into coal water.

Feeling nostalgic about the days of industrial revolution, when events like a river catching on fire were common and exciting, Trump has taken steps towards making our water completely toxic again. It is surprising that more Republican Sportsman aren’t recognizing how badly this will affect their future fishing trips. By the time our environment starts to be completely ruined, there will hopefully be a democrat in office who can bear the blame.

1) Virtually dissolving a sector of the government, the EPA

Attempting a send this hard, is worthy of Jerry of the Day. Its difficult to recognize the environment as a real thing, when you are so focused on building a wall in the middle of a desert, but the environment does include golf courses. Perhaps dissolving this institution is just Trump nodding us a friendly sign that the nuclear holocaust that is soon to come anyway.

2) Resuming Keystone Pipeline

Just when we thought the U.S. had done a decent pizza turn, and gotten over its habit of literally bulldozing through Native American land, production of the Keystone Pipeline was resumed. It might have been a good idea to build the damn thing around tribal land, but its hard to slow things down when you are driving a really fun bull dozer.

4) Our Very Own Great Wall

Trump is the first nominee crazy enough to actually go full on Ancient Chinese Dynasty, and try to build America’s great wall. Somebody needs to show this guy the movie Mulan, and let Disney explain why there are many ways to get around a wall. It’s an outdated form of protection. It would also affect the habits of migrating animals, but that would be okay if we could see it from space.

5) Promised to Drill For Oil on Federal Land

It might just be better to give up the presidential sport of skiing, than try to pizza around this one.  National Parks are one of the aspects of our country, that we can take pride in. But honestly, all one has to do is take a look at Trump’s interior design choices, and realize that this guy is too much of a french fry for his own good.

While Trump’s never learning how to ski has obviously affected his policy choices, hopefully this article will show you how to pizza around certain fragile issues, in stead of french frying into a, “bad time”. Let us know what you think in the comment section below!

One thought on “5 Environmental Decisions Trump Should “Pizza” On

  1. It’s not even “virtually” dissolving the EPA. House Bill HR 861 reads (in its entirety): The Environmental Protection Agency shall terminate on December 31, 2018.” Because who needs air? Cancer’s more fun anyway. (And there won’t be many animals left after HJR 69 removes all protection from wildlife.)

    We should add the entire Department of Education, that would be gone too with HR 610, but that won’t matter as much after they defund public education entirely. Because who needs education?

    There’s so much more, but I’ve already dropped a big depressing shovel of TrumpCrap on your post. Sorry. It keeps happening, as he proceeds with an unprecedented effort to disassemble the United States government. It’s like he’s working for Russia or something.

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